My conversation with AT&T IM support

Here is the transcript.






Please wait while we find an agent to assist you...
Thank you for contacting AT&T Internet Services, my name is Andrew

Diamond. One moment while I review your information.
John Waldowski: ok I'm waiting
Andrew Diamond: Hi and Good Afternoon John Waldowski!
John Waldowski: hi
John Waldowski: are you there?
Andrew Diamond: Yes I am.
John Waldowski: I was wondering if you could update me on an outage

in my area
John Waldowski: I was given an ETA of 6pm but my service is still

not working
Andrew Diamond: I see that you have issues with an outage, is that

right?
John Waldowski: I have a number that I believe ties to the notes
John Waldowski: yes
John Waldowski: the number is 881445
Andrew Diamond: I apologize for the inconvenience this has caused,

we value you as a Member and I assure you that I will do my best to

assist you with this issue.
John Waldowski: can you tell me about this
Andrew Diamond: Please give me a few minutes to pull up your

account and check on the outage as well John Waldowski.
John Waldowski: I'm still waiting
Andrew Diamond: By the way, what is your location?
John Waldowski: do you see my account
John Waldowski: Fort Worth TX
John Waldowski: I would assume that would be in my account

information
John Waldowski: how do I know that you're a real person
John Waldowski: and not a replicant
Andrew Diamond: Thank you and I will continue with my research on

your issue.
John Waldowski: you didn't answer my question
John Waldowski: are you a replicant from the future who is really

here to destroy this dimension of reality and take all of us as

slaves for the alien hive mind?
Andrew Diamond: Please take note that I am a live person John

Waldowski so don't worry about it.
John Waldowski: or just a support guy?
John Waldowski: that doesn't sound like something a live person

would say
John Waldowski: my friends call me waldo
John Waldowski: by the way
Andrew Diamond: Please take note that we are the Chat Technical

Support Department so don't worry on your issue.
John Waldowski: my live human friends do anyway
John Waldowski: ok so ummmm
John Waldowski: about that outage
John Waldowski: got anything on that?
Andrew Diamond: OK Waldo, can you please wait for a few minutes to

finish my research?
John Waldowski: ok
Andrew Diamond: Thank you.
John Waldowski: so I see you called me Waldo. Would you accept my

friend request if I sent it to you on myspace?
John Waldowski: because like I said, my friends call me Waldo
John Waldowski: you seem pretty cool
John Waldowski: I might put you in my top 8
Andrew Diamond: I am so sorry but we are not allowed to have

personal transactions, only business transactions only.
John Waldowski: understandable
John Waldowski: so ummmmmm
John Waldowski: ever been to Colorado?
John Waldowski: that's an inside joke btw
John Waldowski: if you were in my top 8 you would laugh yourself

silly right now
Andrew Diamond: Yes, that was good.
John Waldowski: so how's that outage research coming along?
John Waldowski: I thought this would be a lot quicker than calling

the support phone number
Andrew Diamond: Please take note that there is still an outage.
John Waldowski: you probably have a lot of messages going at once

though
John Waldowski: oh ok
John Waldowski: is there an ETA on that?
Andrew Diamond: Please take note that the Estimated Time of

Restoral (ETR) is 10:00 pm CT.
John Waldowski: I'll bet you get A/S/L all the time right?
Andrew Diamond: Have these steps resolved your issue?
John Waldowski: ok well earlier the ETA was 6:00 PM CT
Andrew Diamond: Well, once in a while.
John Waldowski: so will it really be resolved at 10:00 pm CT?
Andrew Diamond: Again, my apologies this has caused you.
John Waldowski: or is that when they update the ETA?
John Waldowski: to 2:00 AM CT?
John Waldowski: just wondering
Andrew Diamond: Please be informed that is an estimate since our

maintenance group our doing their best to fix this issue as soon as

possible.
John Waldowski: I see
John Waldowski: so what is the issue?
John Waldowski: Is it a DNS thing?
John Waldowski: no that doesn't make sense
John Waldowski: has to be authentication or DSLAM
John Waldowski: something like that
John Waldowski: right?
Andrew Diamond: Oh no it's not the DNS thing.
Andrew Diamond: Please take note that we are updating our system so

that's why an outage occurs or it could be due to storms or

catastrophes that does it.
John Waldowski: yeah I knew that as soon as I typed it
John Waldowski: no there are totally no storms at all anywhere near

here
John Waldowski: ok well last test. Do you know what this means?
John Waldowski: aerrhaarhoa htaodt'ia'rhoinnie taeth

uaefvalhuneitrde'h'n
John Waldowski: probably not, it's in Romulan and I'll bet you

aren't programmed for that
Andrew Diamond: Oh, I am so sorry but I don't know that.
Andrew Diamond: Is there anything else that I may assist you with

today John Waldowski?
John Waldowski: I didn't thinks
John Waldowski: so
John Waldowski: you'd know it if you were a protocol droid
John Waldowski: but you're just a support droid I'll bet
Andrew Diamond: Was the information able to resolve your issue?
John Waldowski: yes
Andrew Diamond: Can you please do me a favor?
Andrew Diamond: My goal today was to ensure that you were very

satisfied with the service I delivered. You may receive an email

survey requesting that you rate my service. Please check for it so

you can let my manager and I know if you were very satisfied with

my service. Thank you for using AT&T Yahoo! Chat Support. You will

now be disconnected from this session. The chat window will remain

open until you close it. For quick answers, make the new AT&T

Yahoo! Help site your first stop. Visit http://helpme.att.net where

you'll find pages of product information to assist you. Again,

thank you for choosing AT&T Yahoo! Chat Support.
John Waldowski: you're programmed to talk to mainframes and stuff I

bet
John Waldowski: ok
John Waldowski: are you gone now?
John Waldowski: replicant?
Andrew Diamond: I am so sorry but I am a live person and not a

replicant.
John Waldowski: oh that's right
John Waldowski: you did a good job "Live Person who is most

certainly not a replicant" wink wink
John Waldowski: thanks
John Waldowski: you totally would be in my top 8 if you could be
Andrew Diamond: It was great to be humorous once in a while Waldo.
John Waldowski: you know it
Andrew Diamond: I truly appreciate what you did.
Andrew Diamond: Thank you and have a wonderful weekend!
John Waldowski: screw that I have to work on the moisture farm

tomorrow
John Waldowski: it's gonna suck
John Waldowski: it's really hot you know
John Waldowski: well I guess I'll see you later
Andrew Diamond: Oh, I am so sorry to hear that.
John Waldowski: yeah Uncle Owen works my ass off
Andrew Diamond: Yes, please chat us back some other time.
John Waldowski: have a good one
Andrew Diamond: You too.
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