Miscellaneous Hollywood Bullshit

dexter - seasons 4 and 5
this one has been a little bit of a headscratcher for the past month or so. the series is based on a trilogy of books, and this season will end out the books. there was a part of me that was hoping they would go out on top and just end this season and walk away...silly me not thinking about hollywood. i'm still up in the air about this season, and i'm frankly not sure how much longer they can drag out the "oh my god they're going to catch me / oh thank god i'm safe" angle, but i'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt...the show is definitely dumbed down from the first half of the first season, but still a good watch every week...

no hulk 2
so marvel has been smart enough not to badmouth the hulk - at least before the dvd sales are in - and also smart enough to know that there's not going to be another one anytime soon. even as a comic nerd i wasn't in a rush to see this one, especially in a summer full of superhero movies. but the good news is that the hulk is not gone and forgotten by any means. marvel hinted that we would see the hulk again soon, just not in his own movie, which lends credence to the rumors that the avengers movie would have the team facing down a rampaging hulk...fingers crossed.

daniel craig turns down thor
thank fucking god! look, i loved the guy in layer cake and road to perdition, and i'm sure he's a great bond, but i really haven't felt the need to see him anything else. he's bland and pretty boring - kinda the blonde, english version of keanu reeves. they've had enough trouble between matt vaughn's 300m dollar budget and script overhauls already without having to worry about daniel craig coming in and mucking it up...might as well use jason statham if you're going to go that route. you've got kenneth fucking branaugh on board...don't fuck this up in the casting...

13 tzameti remake
speaking of jason statham...hollywood, fucking stop it! quit casting him in movies that he doesn't belong in, and quit remaking foreign films instead of using your distribution wing to make sure people see the real thing!

so, they've decided to remake the amazing film 13 tzameti - now simply called 13. if you haven't seen it, then quit reading and go put it on your netflix list. chud put it perfectly when they called it the audition of russian roulette movies - an hour of plot development followed by thirty minutes of you yelling "what the fuck" at the screen. great movie, and one that deserved a lot more love over here...

...and most likely will, but not the right kind. the original director has been given the option to direct, which is a good thing. but the casting consists of jason statham, mickey rourke, and 50 cent - or fitty as we call him on the street.

this is such a horrible fucking mistake. you're not going to be able to improve on the sheer weirdness of the film, so that means all you can do at this point is screw it up...maybe with a romantic lead - i'd suggest renee zellwedsksdksfder - and a happy ending where all the guns shoot happiness and fairy dust...maybe one of the characters learns something about himself in the process. i want to cut my wrists now...

(rob)